Whale Noises

A favoured pastime of my housemates, at the moment, is to lie on the rug and make whale noises. It’s worth noting, however, that this practice isn’t strictly limited to the living-room mat. I can hear it coming from the kitchen, when I’m two flights of stairs up; I hear it from the hallway as…

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A Poor Attempt at University Life

Being a student is hard, I type, as I munch on a chocolate digestive and blatantly ignore all my responsibilities. It’s only midway through the first week – term’s only just started – and I’m already considering the plausibility of chocolate digestives making a nutritionally rounded dinner... and I’m someone who actually likes cooking. My…

I Am Not a French Pastry Chef

This becomes ever more apparent, the more I try to bake. Now this particular revelation shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, considering I am neither French, nor ever been trained in the art of making perfect choux pastry. Though if I’m being honest, I really wish I had. Imagine how cool I’d look…

Thoughts I Have at a House Party

Towards the end of my first year at university, my flatmate invited me to her house party. I was both flattered and surprised: given my extreme awkwardness and reluctance to do anything sociable, I wasn't expecting such an invitation. But invited I was, much to my delight, and after being reassured that we wouldn't be…

Thoughts On Clubbing

Last night, I was convinced to actually go out to a club, with the sole reasoning that if worst comes to worst I waste £3 on a ticket and can write a blog post about it. I'm thankful to say that I actually enjoyed myself (drinking, dancing and socialising are usually so not my thing…

Thoughts I Have at the Gym

It starts with do I have to go, continues with why am I here, and finishes with thank God that's over. Or, to put it more concisely, f*ck this. A dislike of excise can be traced all the way back to my early childhood - never in my life could I have been considered active.…

Rubisco is a Relatable Enzyme

I think the most relatable enzyme on earth is Rubisco. This, no doubt, is an odd way to start a blog, but do bear with me as I delve into a little science. I relate to Rubisco on a spiritual level. It holds the title of being the most abundant protein on earth (no mean…

Why Am I Single?

This is something I ask myself a lot. How can I be this stunning, this witty and this fun and not have a significant other to call my own? Ha – right! This train of thought is occurring, in this particular instance, on a (very early) Tuesday morning when I’m supposed to be doing revision. I’m in…